Cake. Big fat chocolate on chocolate in chocolate covered with chocolate....

Ha! Hahahahahahahahaha...! *Sob* :'( :'(   Please give me the cake. Please. PLEASE?! LOOK, GIVE ME THE FREAKING CAKE OR YOU WILL NEVER WALK RIGHT AGAIN I SWEAR!!!!!  >:(

I have lost my mind. I have. There's this guy, Jorge Cruise. He's ridiculous. Brilliant maybe. He's going to make me skinny. And I hate him. His plan, his DIET, (empathises scathingly whispered) is some monster conglomeration of that Adkins dude and The American Diabetes folks.

It works. I've watched it work on my brother in law. Amazingly, impossibly, eating without point-matching or calorie counting or un-holy amounts of sit-upping, he just got skinny. Poof, all belly bulge gone. And he swears to the whole "more energy, feel great, yada yada yada" crap. I don't believe him, and I maybe even don't really like him very much today either because this is all his fault, talking me into this! But he IS skinny, I swear. So I committed myself to this Belly Fat Diet Cure Whatever Thing yesterday. Halfway through the day, when I realized by accident I already hadn't had any carbs and next to no sugar. I had also been awake since 2 am, so I came home and slept the rest of the evening/night and didn't even know I was depriving myself.

Well-el-el....lemme tell you, today I FREAKING KNOW!!!!! *sob* 

That's all I've got for today. Just a heads up that I've committed myself to one week of this jazz. ONE week----6 servings or less per day of any form of carbohydrates, and 15 grams or less per day of any form of sugar. Like cherries even. Bananas...in whipped cream...pie...with chocolate syrup on top...   o.O   I'm going to die.

And I'm going to drag all of you down this road with me because I, in my misery, do indeed love company. And because if I wind up finding my way out of these double-digit jeans after all, I will want to drone endlessly on and on about how I did it and how you can too. Because everyone loves those people, right? RIGHT Brad?!?!?! (My dear brother in law...who I do love and will hopefully thank for this one day. Not today though, or tomorrow. Unless he has a can of Dr Pepper and a cake/pie/cookie in hand.)

New Year, New Me, blah blah blah...get out of here I don't want to talk anymore. I have to go sniff the cake. *SOB*