Just need to get that out there, so when I stop naming my ramblings noone will be left lying awake at night wondering why. :)
No new news to share on my Love currently. He's going through a lot of ups and downs, and the downs are pretty low, which is very very hard to see. Harder to be there though I'm certain. And I have no real idea how to help him... I'm used to me, my way of handling things, which is to talk it all out. I cry and I talk and I ponder and then I cry and talk some more. Ryan just shuts down and sits in silence staring out the window. I try to give him time to himself, space to himself.Then I push him to get up and get out and do something besides sleep. Tonight I forced him to watch a ridiculously funny movie, American Pie I think it was called? He kind of just endures my efforts, so I finally got down nose to nose and said "Look, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to be here day after day night after night, with you. In your face. JUST. LIKE. THIS. And eventually you are going to have to talk to me about what's on your mind because your going to get tired of listening to what's on mine. So take your time and do what you need to to process and adjust to all this...I'll be here. Right here. JUST. LIKE. THIS." Nose to nose, he blinks at me and says "Whats on my mind right now is that I have to pee. You can go along if you want to, but it's not gonna work out well if you stay JUST. LIKE. THIS." :) I think I managed a breakthrough--we've been good ever since! :)
I am working on personal thank you notes, but just need to say that we have all been completely humbled by the love and care that so many are sharing with us. This is our fight, our hard time, our stress....but noone has left us alone in it. I have no words to express how deeply that has touched our hearts. I will never forget this love from so many people, given so freely, in a time when we are so completely unable to give back. We will all hold this in our hearts for the rest of our lives, and we will always be watching for opportunities to reach out in the same way and keep the love moving forward.
Hey cuz just remember we are all one big family and we are always there for each other through the good times and the rough times and we take care of each other ALWAYS. you don't ever have to worry about repaying us or something cuz it is what we do. I am glad to see you got him smiling and laughing a little bit though that is a great thing to hear
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